Saturday, June 04, 2005

The Russians are coming...

I do not know about yours, but my email is getting more and more hits from messages that look mightily like MOCKBA type of characters. Since I have no idea what they say, I cannot even guess what they are about. No problems, I save all of them in a separate folder and will go back to study them after I learn the Russian language. Why Russian? Because I think that is what they are, in Russian. I may be wrong, but I will find out after I master the language, at which time, if I am wrong, I will try a different language. Eventually, I will learn what they are trying to tell me. Just because they have the courtesy to spend the time writing me these seemingly elaborate emails, that's the least I can do for them. It's too bad that they do not at this time have any beautiful graphics that I can use for my own needs, but I guess they will learn how to do that in due time.

You see, I am desperate to find the solution to my current seemingly insurmountable problem: there is something not flowing, or if it flows, it does not flow right. So I am hoping that some reliefs may come from these miraculous emails, because all my friends told me that may be so.

My neighbor, an expert astrologer has given me stern warnings over a year ago that I must watch out for my own well being, since I no doubt am suffering from a "Saturn return," and that is a three year affair! She's got to be kidding! Right? At first, I am skeptical about what she told me, so I went away to perform an arduous and lengthy calculation about the relative positions of the planets, using Newton's laws of physics. I figured that she may be wrong, because according to my calculations, carried out to 12 decimal places, there is not a chance in the universe that Saturn ever will return close enough to me to cause measurable discomfort or harm. But you never know, so I am taking her advice in stride.

To start out, I sought advice from another expert, a woman friend who knows all about flowing things. The trouble is that now, I must also learn Chinese, because what she told me sounds wonderfully strange. Something sounding like the sharp teeth of wild beasts.

This expert asked me: where do you work? I told her that I work everywhere, at home, in my office, in my car, during my sleep etc... At her insistance, although this is diametrically opposite to my instinct, I took a digital picture of one of my work places and gave it to her, having no idea what she wants to do with it.

Sounds Chinese to me!

Well, I now regret that I did something without knowing its potentially dangerous consequences. The photo almost gave her a heart attack. Of course, I received plenty of admonition and the order of the day was to clean up my work space so that whatever it is she told me that I could not understand can flow more freely. I don't think so! Everything is perfect the way it is, just like that.

After much reflection on my own without any interference from outside experts, it became obvious to me that what does not flow well is my playing of my saxophone. Since I am behind in my practice, way behind, the music I play does not flow well at all. That, I know how to fix. That's easy! May be that is the solution to my insurmountable problem. Yeah! That's it. Blow, Gabriel, blow, like Cole Porter used to say.

No comments: